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Matt Hazard to return to gaming!!
BY Matthew RazakSep. 3rd, 2008 More on:

hazard

That’s right the Matt Hazard is returning to his former gaming glory. After a few years of declining game quality it looks like D3 and Marathon are set to bring Matt back into action glory. A picture of the Hazard booth at PAX 08 has turned up and it features a question mark space, possibly hinting at a new game. I have plenty of fond childhood memories crusading through treacherous areas in the classic Matt in Hazard Land back in the day. The game was practically overflowing with awesome, and sucked up a solid chunk of quarters in the arcade. Sadly, as the years went on the iconic action hero fell further and further into crappy game land, eventually even getting treated to a kart game which sucked more than anything Crash Bandicoot ever raced in. It’s sad that the only site out there truly dedicated to this classic hero is Weapons of Matt Destruction.com.

But you’ve never heard of Matt Hazard, have you? Well that’s because he doesn’t exist. This is all an insanely elaborate set-up to introduce the star of an upcoming D3/Marathon game. Viral marketing at some of its finest and D3 is playing it straight, with little to no information on the new IP out there for us to read about and even the press releases being about the “classic” Matt Hazard games. If you head over to Weapons of Matt Destruction you can check out the top ten greatest Matt Hazard games. Sadly, many of the links aren’t working yet so you’ll have to wait to jump on the Matt Hazard band wagon. All I know is that they’ve pretty much summed up gaming history by shoving Matt Hazard into every type of game possible and it’s won me over. You Only Live 1,317 Times was what got me on the Hazard band wagon, how about you?

Check out the info for the first Matt Hazard game Matt in Hazard Land and the box art:

ALERT, Peaceful citizens of Planet Earth!! Your existence is now in HAZARD!

The newest and most amazing arcade video game ever created, The Adventures of Matt in Hazard Land is now in arcades! This is the game your parents REALLY don’t want you to play!

Introducing MATT HAZARD, the toughest and bravest hero to ever blast his way onto an arcade machine. He’s mean, he’s lean, and he’s a fighting machine!

The year is 1987 and technology rules all! You must destroy the evil forces of the RoboCompuBotX Corporation, under the command of the world’s most notorious madman, Dr. Nuclonium, and save your sexy girlfriend from his revolting clutches.

Demolish Dr. Nuclonium’s sinister lab at the core of the earth! Chase the malevolent psychopath to his remote base on the dark side of the moon! Pulverize his fearsome radioactive army with his own Blast Force Gun in the time-travel zone Xenon 5!

The Adventures of Matt in Hazard Land has amazing 8-bit technology and for the first time ever will feature the first ever 6-button controls with joystick!

Watch MATT HAZARD run, punch and even JUMP as he fights off hoards of mutant stooges infected with Neutronium mind control and defeats Dr. Neutronium’s feared under-bosses like Lord OctoSurgeon! This game is a real show-stopper!

Other features include a high score system, unlimited continues with additional coins, and hidden cheats!

Don’t be fooled by those new “home video game systems!” The best games will always be only at your local arcade!

adventures-of-matt-in-hazard-land

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Matthew Razak
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Matthew Razak.
    Dork
    September 3rd, 2008
    at 3:41 pm

    I knew you had it in you to make this happen…I am intrigued. I bet it will be a mini-game.

    No ZOMBIES!

      Reply
    Luke Walker
    September 4th, 2008
    at 9:10 am

    Wow, am I glad that this was a joke. I thought there was this major awesome game series that I never knew existed. Thought my gamer pride was about to take a major hit here.

      Reply

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