Nintendo controls the heavens


The Beatles once said that they were bigger than God himself/herself/itself/non-existant. What does that make Nintendo at the moment then as they are about to release a “one-of-a-kind celestial event” on America? They’re ridiculously popular and they’re going to be taking over the night sky? They must be some kind of being that’s even greater than The Beatles, in which case the world is coming to an end.

No word on what the event, taking place Thursday, Sept. 18, is about but Nintendo hints that there will be the reemergence of a luminous entity that citizens from all walks of life will appreciate. What could this be? My heart wants desperately to believe this is how Nintendo is announcing the new Kid Icarus game (Pit is from heaven right?), but more likely it’s just a random ad campaign. Maybe they are boosting Mario Galaxy sales a bit more or some casual fare that the entire family can enjoy. Of course most of the country won’t know anything until intrepid internet bloggers from the four locations the event can be viewed at get back home and onto the internet. If you’re in the areas listed below give us a holler and tell us what’s up.

Optimum viewing locations are as follows and within a one-mile radius:

  • Kirby Middle School – 1328 28th Street, Birmingham, AL 35234
  • Kirby Historical Mill – 275 Church Road, Medford, NJ 08055
  • Kirby Park – 301 Northampton Street, Kingston, PA 18704
  • Kirby Gate Shopping Center – 6548 Quince, Memphis, TN 38119