Jeremy’s adventures in Sporeland

As some of you may know from the podcast I’ve been playing uber amounts of Spore lately. Though much of the game can be conquered without breaking the tiniest sweat, the real fun comes from watching your creature evolve and adapt to the situations it faces. That’s pretty much what Adventures in Sporeland is all about. This is a chronicling of the Turzex race from their humble beginnings from walking on land, to their uncertain future throughout the galaxy.

Simply put, the Turzex race is an aggressive, no nonsense group of creatures. I suppose that’s what I was going for when I decided to make them meat eaters. What I didn’t realize was the complete isolation the Turzex would face every single day as a result of this. It’s not my fault though as I was killed dozens of times swimming in the life juices of planet Crion. I was in a sense bullied for the first few thousand years. I was also very slow and an easy target for creatures that were covered in spikes. My only food was the scraps left over by bigger creatures after a hasty kill. All I could think was, “I should’ve just stuck to plants.” But that all came to an end when I got my land legs and became a land creature.

Spore takes your experiences from the past phase and gives you a special ability that best reflects those experiences. In my case, since I was eaten a lot, my creatures ability was to roar. I was a master at scaring others off to protect my creatures tender innards. I mean look at him, he’s so puny.

You may also notice the growing of many spikes around his body. I did that because somebody was always trying to get me when my back was turned. Anyway, since he’s a carnivore, I have no choice but to kill other creatures in order to survive. When you do that kind of thing it’s hard to make friends. Other creatures would see me coming and either run, or just attack head on. Fighting in Spore makes you aggressive and hinders chances for alliences, but poor Turzex here had no other choice.

So then what happens when everybody shuns Turzex and sees them as the single greatest threat on the planet? The answer was almost always attack on sight. I just want to reiterate how my goal was to be a crusader for the little guy. Whenever a creature was being ravaged, my Turzex would be there to dish out buckets of rich creamy justice. Instead, no one appreciated my logic and thus Turzex had to evolve into a stronger, more deviant creature.

So now we have the Turzex as more aggressive and with more horns. I wish I had a screen capture of some of the awful things I made them do. We rolled in packs of four and terrorized the countryside. Virtually every creature I came across became extinct thanks to my antics. I guess you can say the Turzex was going through that awkward teenagerish phase where the whole world is against them. That’s how I justify it anyway.

Tribal Phase was pretty much the same except I domesticated animals. Whenever my village was raided (and it was raided often) my minions would come to my aid and help me fight them off. Heck, I controlled animals that were so strong, I had four villagers who did nothing but fish the whole time. I had one ally whom I refer to as the purple guys because I don’t remember their name. We would go over and play music for them on occasion, and they brought me gifts. *Sigh* I miss those guys. The last time I saw them was right before I went to to my last village and burned it to the ground. Yes, I literally picked up torches and burned their village to the ground. That’s how the Turzex roll.

I mentioned in The Hat Trick Podcast how I fell victim to other cities trying to steal my spice resources which eventually resulted in their demise at the hands of my navy. I also mentioned my answer to forced religious conversion in the form of a gigantic missile. Once again, the Turzex are peaceful at heart, but they dont’ take threats lightly.

Finally we reach Space Phase. I have yet to complete this phase. All I can say is that my enemies once again are religious zealots. I don’t know why they hate me so much. I am working on acquiring a planet obliterating weapon at which point I will then pay a little visit to my Spode worshipping friends.