There are things in life one does that defy explanation and any semblance of common sense. It’s as if the actions your body is moving along with are controlled not by you, but by a higher power bent on enslaving mankind with stupidity and poor direction. Last weekend at the E for All expo, I experienced exactly this when I drank Mana Energy Potion and my life will never be the same. Never.

You might be thinking, “Does it honestly taste like an attic?” The answer is most definitely, “Yes!” It’s a sickeningly sour concoction supposedly twice as potent as a single Red Bull with a little too much sugar and a bite that could turn gold into lead or warp the space time continuum. Thankfully the nice people at the NOS booth had free samples of their delicious grape drink to save my delicate tongue parts. Apparently I wasn’t the only one seeking salvation at their booth that day as others came to drink the purple elixir and clear their head space of the toxins.

Just so everyone knows, NOS was free for all while Mana was only free for media. Conspiracy? I think so. If you think I’m joking about the horrors I imbibed, try it for yourself and report back when you’ve transformed into a creature of nightmares. Godspeed.