In a strange, Big Brother-like move, Microsoft has been granted a patent that is soon to turn every f@#!$ into a “golly gosh-darn jerk” or a horrendous beep that will be ringing in many a headset.

According to Ars Technica, this new patent would allow for real-time censoring of audio, filtering out f-bombs and any other profanity deemed offensive so as not to ruin the “family” nature of Xbox LIVE or to hurt any sensitive players’ feelings. While this is a move that has inherently good intentions, it’s also a poison that could possibly seep into other forms of media. How long until this is implemented into our phone conversations? Text messages? What about our vocal cords? Gads! Okay, that’s stretching it a bit, I know.

To all you gamers who have ever trash-talked but couldn’t take it back, and filed a voice complaint all those times just so you could go run to your mommy and tell them that you tattled on a potty-mouthed jerk, congratulations. You’re ruining it for everyone. We can only hope that Microsoft will have the presence of mind to implement this feature in a way that won’t hinder everyone’s gaming experience. For example, creating an option to use filtering or to not use it, etc. Some matches are laggy enough as it is without worrying about censoring teammates’ speech, as well. And what of words that could be considered dirty by association? How could teams even function as such?

All I can say is, f@#! this s@$!.