Gears of War 2 launch trailer eschews emotions for explosions

When you’re flippin’ through the channels, and you stumble upon some craptastic mystery movie about to be played for the umpteenth time, do you still shout “hell yeah!” when the parental guidance warning flashes across the screen? No? Oh…um…me neither.

We’re a little more than a week away from the release of Gears of War 2, and Epic Games has unleashed one last cash-seeking missile from their advertising arsenal. The new Gears of War 2 launch trailer is no “Last Day,” which in turn is no “Mad World,” but what it lacks in emotional resonance it more than makes up for in explosions. Lots of explosions.

Lately, action game trailers have become stirring mini-movies, ditching the pounding soundtrack and roaring gunfire for emotionally elegant commentaries on the haunting effects of the battlefield. Case in point, the live-action “Believe” campaign for Microsoft’s cash cow Halo 3 followed Gears of War‘s tear-jerking example, inspiring almost as many mainstream media posts as the game itself, and it didn’t show a single frame of actual game footage! But even though this launch trailer won’t be storming the podium at any advertising awards, it’s truly a thing of clichéd beauty, showcasing stereotypical guns and guts scenes from throughout the game. So, how many Tylenol PM’s do I have to take to place myself in a drug induced coma until November 7th? The whole bottle? Really? I hope they have Gears of War 2 in heaven…