They think they’re so special, what with their cute little walk and funny bobbing head and annual death-defying journey across the pitiless frozen deserts of Antarctica, during which they abandon the safety of the ocean to journey to their traditional breeding grounds in the middle of a region so desolate, so bleak and perilous, it supports no other form of life. God, how I’ve hoped and prayed I would one day get a chance to take them down a peg. And now it’s happening. It’s finally happening. So, let’s do this. Let’s punch an emperor penguin in the face!
What’s that you say? It’s a crested penguin?
Well. I don’t really have anything against crested penguins, now do I Gammick, makers of the upcoming Animal Boxing for the Nintendo DS? Thank goodness you’ve included a whole host of animals in your beastial boxer, each just begging to have their furry asses handed to them on behalf of everyone who’s ever had a goat talk behind their back at work, a bear cut them in line at Starbucks, or a snowy egret shoot them the feather in traffic. It seems Animal Village was once a peaceful community where cats, dogs, lions and lambs all lived in perfect harmony, that is until the opening of a new boxing gym reminded them of their primal natures. Now it is up to you and your furious fists to show these creatures why humans, and sometimes dingoes depending on the size of the human, occupy the top rung of the food chain.
As if beating more than 50 different barnyard critters within an inch of their darling little lives weren’t gimmick enough, you also play the game by turning your DS upside down, using the the stylus to punch them in the cock! Hit the jump for a picture.
I am disappointed in you, I really am. But seriously, until they make the Cock Puncher movie for real, its Animal Boxing for the win.