Epic Games’ grunt-tastic Gears of War 2 has declared all out war on your dwindling savings account. Now that life-size lancers, cog-branded Zunes and Locust Drone busts have weakened your meager defenses, it’s time to finish any straggling survivors - your fifty states quarter collection fought a brave but futile battle - with this heavy duty trifecta of limited edition statues. And we do mean heavy.

These metallic monsters from Mindzeye Studios are cast in the fiery forge of excess, then platinum or bronze-coated, making them extremely heavy. Marcus and Dom are relative light weights at just under 4 pounds each while the Boomer tips the scales at a staggering 11.25 pounds. They are also extremely expensive, with the humans priced at $205 and the lumbering Locust priced at $260.

It’s crazy what some fans will spend money on. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a $265 cold cast bronze Hellboy statue to order.