So, SouthPeak has posted the trailer for their upcoming pyrotechnic powerhouse, Big Bang Mini. I thought it was going to be a DS-ified version of Boom Boom Rocket, the Xbox Live game that has you dreamily detonating fireworks to the delicate strains of remixed classical music. But this ‘aint Boom Boom. This is Big Bang, muthafucka! You can take that classical music and shove it up your ass, ’cause that kiddy shit ‘aint got no place in Big Bang Mini!

SouthPeak’s take on the brave new world of virtual light displays is packin’ some serious heat…seeking fireworks that lock onto your target, not to mention the reflective shields and swirling vortexes that are part of any good firework technician’s arsenal of destruction. Seriously, is this what’s going on behind the scenes of every patriotic Fourth of July display, Super Bowl halftime show and New Years Eve celebration? Are firework technicians really having to deal with the exacting safety regulations and precision timing required to successfully stage a magnificent, triumphant fireworks display while dogging attacks from lasers, knives, and bunny rabbits on flying magic carpets?

God bless you firework technician, for you are truly the best and bravest of us all.