Arkham Asylum needs to rethink their therapy methods

In light of recent events, the administration regrets to inform all patients that several of our elective therapy sessions have been canceled until further notice, including “Face Painting Your Feelings,” “Breaking Boundaries, Lifting Weights” and “Basic Firearm Training for the Criminally Insane.” While individually these therapeutic classes proved beneficial, it has come to our attention that several patients enrolled in all three classes have experienced some significant setbacks in their rehabilitation efforts. In a completely unrelated side note, Gang Rush Week has also been postponed indefinitely, though there are several copies of “Arkham And You: Surviving and Thriving In A Hospital for the Criminally Insane,” our in-house brochure detailing various factions’ activities and affiliations, still available at the information booth in the commissary.

On a more positive note, these 10 new screens from Eidos’ upcoming Batman: Arkham Asylum, though rather heavy on the generic Bane-wannabes, showcase the caped crusader dropping in on a member of the clown posse in classic Batman style. I hope they fix the painted-on wife beaters, but I love the mix-up of recent and retro Batman couture. And I also love that successfully sneaking up on someone from above is rewarded not with a kiss, but with getting to beat the hell out of a dude in clown makeup.

Suck it Peter Parker, this is how a real hero serves it to gravity, with a side of kick ass.

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