Bionic Commando to be not jumping in May

Oh that Bionic Commando and his swinging. That bionic arm must be insanely heavy for him to be unable to jump over DAMNED SANDBAGS AND TRASH CANS! If this new one lacks jump I will… probably still play it. For those of you more tolerant of heavy feet and are excited to save the world from nuclear terrorism and uncovering a betrayal plot for the ages, sounds like May will be your month. I guess it’s also for people who like crazy bionic acrobatics like grappling a dude and then flying into him feet first, launching cars and boulders bionically, solid bionic gunplay (hopefully), or to “use enemies as a shield or whip them into the air transforming them into a human kite.” That’s right out of the announcement and the image in my mind makes this probably the weirdest game mechanic I’ve ever heard since Earthworm Jim used himself as a grappling hook and didn’t die in the process. Anyway, point is I guess there’s a lot to do besides jump. And who knows, maybe that just hasn’t been announced. It’d be worthy of its own press release.

So yeah, maybe no jumping, definitely human kites, and bionicness this May on Xbox 360 and PS3. A PC version will arrive some months later.