I’m a big fan of Shirt.Woot and not ashamed to say it makes up about 99 percent of my wardrobe (the other 1 percent is a fancy suit and a Ghostbusters uniform), but today’s may be way too nerdy even for me — it has metallic ink! In fact, I’m going on record as saying this is the nerdiest shirt I have ever seen in my entire life. I don’t think I could wear this and not feel like I was going to get my ass kicked by some 12 year-old kid. In my defense the 12 year-olds in my neighborhood are tough and ride scooters like a gang. They don’t mess around. Just like this shirt won’t mess around with not getting you that cute waitress’ (or waiters’) phone number. If you do attempt such a thing, please don’t point at the crossed zapper medal and say, “This is for marksmanship.” Unfortunately, this is all dirty tease because the shirt is sold out, but dry those eyes as it should be available again in a few days — we’ll keep you posted.