Congratulations, you survived April Fool’s Day! The day the internet mistakes itself for the Super Bowl and becomes a playground for competitive comedians to waggle their lulz to the masses. This year had its share of great gags mixed in with some facepalm moments worthy of many groans and head shakes. We tried to damage your brains with a couple of these stories yesterday, but decided it was probably best if we crippled you completely in one fell swoop. Hit the jump for a cavalcade of what you may or may not have missed whilst hiding from the boogeyman.

• Valve sees urine as the future of TF2 weaponry
• Capcom’s Dark Void goes 8-bit
• Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 gets a surprise roster addition
• World of Warcraft’s always spinnin’ with “P1mp My Mount”
• The Archivist joins the ranks of Diablo III and makes with the suicide
• StarCraft II should just be called Voltron
• World of Warcraft stomps the yard
• Japan gets the middle finger and still no Dragon Quest IX
• Nibris still doesn’t show Sadness, but announces Egyptian Dental Fair for DS
• Bethesda slashes Oblivion DLC prices in half, doubles horse armor
• GameStop flat out fails at being funny
• Smash Bros. Wii gets bloody
• Wii Fit becomes sentient
• MICROÏDS misses the point
• Umbrella Corp requests bailout
• Aperture Science does what it must because it can

Of all the things above, Dark Void hurts the most. Thanks Capcom for the equivalent of being promised a trip to the amusement park and being brought to ballet class instead. I’ll send you the bill for my shrink.