As is pretty much always the case, the ESRB leak showing Max Payne 1 & 2 coming to Xbox 360 were right on the nose — a constipated, wrinkled nose. The classic third-person shooter that made slow-motion gun massacres (and fiberless diets) cool and the sequel that confirmed it was still cool are now available on Xbox LIVE Marketplace for a rather steep 1200 MS points ($15) each.

If you’ve never had the chance to play these games (or haven’t done so recently), you really should. While they may be a little primitive by today’s standards, they still hold up; delivering ridiculous action and a neo-noir story that manages to remain cheesy, yet excellent. It’s nice to remember Max Payne before Hollywood spanked his ass and he resurfaced as a reject from the Condemned games.

If the price isn’t right, you can easily nab original Xbox copies, which are backwards compatible, for real cheap at retailers. Like, $2-5 cheap. [Insert joke about one's mother/sister/dog here].