Microsoft announces record growth, Viagra not involved

Microsoft has climbed the highest mountain and announced that the Xbox 360 has sold 30 million consoles and, as such, has introduced in excess of 20 million people to the joys of cursing 12 year-olds on Xbox Live. Following 2008, their biggest year to date, Microsoft also gloated that their console has surpassed all other consoles to achieve the highest growth percentage so far in 2009.

“We’ve always been confident that Xbox 360 offers more entertainment value than any other console on the market, and these latest numbers show that consumers agree,” said Don Mattrick, senior vice president of the Interactive Entertainment Business at Microsoft. Citing a growing consumer desire to connect with friends, download and enjoy movies and television shows, and extend the shelf life of their games, Microsoft expects the trend to continue to accelerate, so much so that by the end of the year the number of subscribers will surpass the largest cable provider in the U.S.

Since the launch of the console, consumers have dropped $14.5 billion on all things Xbox 360, including nearly 1 billion pieces of downloadable content ranging from movies and map packs to game modes and (ugh!) horse armor. Additionally, the Xbox 360 has generated $5.9 billion in retail sales for third-party publishers, more than all other current-gen consoles combined. While that calculates to every Xbox owner having and average of 8.3 games each, no explanation was given on how someone could own .3 of a game.

The Xbox Live service, after the New Xbox Experience membership surge in November 2008, is now available in 26 countries worldwide and is installed in more homes than any other satellite television provider. The 136 percent increase in membership has also doubled video based downloads and increased Xbox Live Arcade purchases by 70 percent.

All these numbers and percentages and jibberjabber make our eyes go blurry. What it all boils down to is that the Xbox Live service is not going away, it has a bunch of people using it, and it is a cash cow. We cannot wait to see what Microsoft announces at their E3 briefing and how else they plan on removing the cash from our wallets while we say thank you.

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