Paperboy in real life

The job of paperboy has long since been replaced by late night deliveries from the back of a windowless van, which is probably for the best considering the job’s inherent dangers – angry dogs, break dancers, swarms of bees and even the sickle-wielding specter of Death.

If Atari’s 1984 arcade classic Paperboy taught us anything, it’s that though less profitable, lemonade stands were much safer an after-school occupation. But that was before this telling video opened our eyes to the truth, that the paperboy wasn’t the victim but the victimizer, a sociopathic menace who delighted more in torturing and terrorizing than boosting dwindling newspaper circulation.

Sure, that first wide throw could have been an accident, but after the second, chasing him down with a frying pan seems a reasonable escalation.