Oh, good evening constable! I see you’ve experienced the rare pleasure of stumbling upon Jack the Ripper’s latest good deed. Why, of course it’s gruesome! Protecting innocent people from all manner of demons, vampires and other evil monsters using an assortment of ridiculous, potentially time slowing weaponry is gruesome business. Often requires the removal of the victim’s…ahem, I mean the “monster’s” kidney. And heart. And uterus, if you’ve got the time.
What’s that? You believe this to be the horribly mutilated corpse of a hapless 19th century prostitute? Is this your first day on the beat? Don’t be ludicrous, if Jack the Ripper were a notorious British serial killer, responsible for brutally murdering, mutilating and disemboweling defenseless ladies of the evening, would EA’s Visceral Games this very moment be working on a videogame depicting him as a supernatural slayer of monsters, like this five-foot tall, auburn-haired, hazel-eyed horror you see before you?
No apologies necessary, constable, we can’t all be as good and pure as Jack the Ripper. I only hope that one day I…wait, did you hear that shrill, womanly scream just now? I dare say, it sounds like heroics are afoot!