Dante’s Inferno will contain moaning women, demon penis, awesomeness

The ESRB has released its ratings for EA’s Dante’s Inferno, and it reads like a 14-year-old boy’s wildest dream. Of course, there’s the gore and violence requisite for any current-gen action game, “Templar soldiers cut townspeople in half; a man is decapitated and his head hurtles toward the screen; a man gets stabbed through the eye with his own crucifix, and a soldier impales a woman through the chest by throwing a sword at the fleeing victim.” Then there’s of course the overt sexual content, “During one sequence, a distraught demon-like creature seizes Dante’s right hand and slowly guides it across her bare chest; during another, ‘shade minions’ in high heels moan lustfully-in the Lust level-as tentacles protrude from their stomachs, their lower regions.” Nothing unique there.

But then, the game reaches levels of true greatness, “A bluish devil/demon in boss-battle mode-its penis visible during the flying and fire-spewing, the standing around (there are equivalent physics applied to female/male body parts).” I have no doubt that all of you will be as eager to see blue demon penis as I am. This may come as a shock, but Dante’s Inferno will indeed be rated M for mature upon its release in February. A demo is currently available on both PlayStation Network and Xbox Live, but alas, it is devoid of any demon penis.