Privates, the first game set in a vagina

In the words of Private‘s condom-helmeted leader, “This isn’t space or chainsaws. it’s vaginas and bottoms and places like that.”

Privates, the latest from Zombie Cow Studios, developers of PC puzzler Time Gentlemen, Please!, is a twin-stick (mind out of the gutter, please!) shooter in which you command a miniature squad of marines through the human body’s most private of places. There’s a joke in here about this being the closest some will ever get to the real deal, but the game itself looks funny enough that I don’t feel the need to follow through on that slam dunk setup. Though seriously, with a toll of only 50 pence to get into the promised land, it’s no wonder our prophylactic-sporting soldiers are facing off against “all manner of oozy, shouty monsters.”

While it has been optimistically, and in all likelihood hopelessly submitted for review and approval on Xbox Live, Privates will most definitely be coming free to the PC later this year.