Duke Nukem Forever is really reaching out to women, like literally reaching out, with the sharp crack of an open palm to the derriere.
According to the latest issue of OXM, Gearbox’s Duke Nukem Forever will include four multiplayer modes: Dukematch, Team Dukematch, Hail to the King (aka King of the Hill) and Capture the Babe (aka Capture the Flag). It’s the last of these that’s stirring up controversy, as it replaces the traditional flag with a “babe” who must be stolen from your enemy’s base and carried caveman-style back to yours, and who along the way will “sometimes freak out” and need a “reassuring slap.” But it’s still feminist friendly, right, ’cause it’s not the face! Or a closed fist! At least until she opens her trap.
All kidding aside, I agree with the critics who say that the inclusion of a designated spank button is chauvinistic at best, offensive at worst, but let’s not start heating the tar and plucking the feathers yet. This is Duke Nukem Forever, not Barbie: Island Princess. In a game that boasts Duke Nukem-branded vibrating dildos and first-person trips to the urinal, giving a calming pat to the ass of the hooker you’re hauling across the map seems almost chivalrous.