Birthed into bleating, bloody existence by the will of the internet, Goat Simulator will be coming to Steam. As you may recall, the Swedish-based developer, Coffee Stain Studios, was pretty clear from the get-go that their “alpha footage” of a goat headbutting buckets at patio party attendees like a four-legged Lyudmila Pavlichenko was not a real game, having been created as a learning exercise in UDK for the Global Game Jam. But that was before the footage garnered more than 200,000 views in 24 hours.
“Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats,” reads the disclaimer on the game’s recently erected website. “In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat.”
That advice seems sound, but you also have to consider that a real-life goat doesn’t have a “new lick feature” allowing it to flail an axe in a cloven dance of death. So while we appreciate the warning Coffee Stain, just shut up and take our money. You can pre-order Goat Simulator for $9.99 to receive a Steam key, unlocking the game three days before its official release sometime in spring 2014.