Hold on to your hay bales, ’cause the internet’s favorite next-gen goat simulator has finally gotten an official release date. The game that started as a joke will be coming to Steam on (and this is no joke) April 1, 2014.
For those not familiar with this sublime work of Caprinae-inspired coding, Goat Simulator was “inspired from old-school skating games, where, instead of being a skater, you’re a goat, and instead of doing skating tricks, you wreck stuff.” So in other words, just like Tony Hawk. There’s realistic physics, just like Tony Hawk. There’s points awarded for sick tricks, just like Tony Hawk. And you play as a rubber-necked, sticky-tongued goat who wants to give a “Glasgow Kiss” to the whole of humanity, but will settle for destroying picnic tables, fences and fuel-efficient vehicles, just like Tony Hawk.
Go pre-order before Mr. Hawk hears they’ve made an unlicensed game about his violent hatred of backyard bar-b-ques. Ten bucks gets you access to the game three days before the official release. And it’s also Steam Workshop compatible, so you can start building customized objects, levels and missions right out of the virtual box. And then completely trash them with a customized goat. Yes, I’m crying, but these are tears of joy.