REVIEW / Loot Crate (June & July 2016)


Don’t worry, the high quality of May’s Loot Crate hasn’t blinded me so much that I forgot all about June and July’s crates. There’s just been something distracting me. But I’m ready now, and I’m giving you a two for one. The June crate’s theme was “Dystopia” and it featured items from properties like Fallout 4, Bioshock Infinite, and more. Like I said last time, it sounded great, but what exactly was inside?


Fallout 4 Dorbz Figure


Funko’s Pop! Figures are a phenomenon, as evidenced by the three subscription boxes Funko itself puts out based on them (and some other Funko products). And while I ended up skipping Smuggler’s Bounty for July, Loot Crate has included a figure from one of Funko’s other lines. The Dorbz figures are around the same size as Funko’s Mystery Minis, but are shaped a bit like a two-snowball snowman and tend to feature the characters smiling if possible. This one is based on Fallout’s power armor, so there is no smile, but it’s a decent figure. I’ve never had much interest in Dorbz, but I love Fallout, so this will go well next to my Vault Boy bobble head.


Bioshock Infinite Key Blank


This is a fairly odd inclusion: a standard house key blank, which you can go to a hardware store to get cut as as copy of an existing key. It’s themed after Bioshock Infinite and features an ornate top with the game’s bird image on one side and the cage image on the other. Even though I haven’t played the game yet, I do recognize the iconography and I think the blank is pretty cool. Unfortunately, my apartment key is a different size, so I have no use for it really. Still, I appreciate that it’s something a bit different.


The Matrix Jigsaw Puzzle


Loot Crate is not being ordered by kids, I would guess, and The Matrix is not a kid friendly movie. So first of all, why does this even exist? And second, why is it in Loot Crate? It doesn’t even use the most iconic poster image for the movie. And I know what that is, because it’s hanging in my bedroom. Granted, I haven’t tried to put this thing together, so I don’t know how difficult it is to do so, but I also can’t claim to care that much either. Jigsaw puzzles, Loot Crate? You can do better than this.


Robocop Shirt


I’ve never seen Robocop, to be honest, so I don’t know how this image would look to a fan. But honestly, even though I’m not really a Robocop fan, I like the design of this shirt. It shows the main character very prominently, and it seems to fit with the movie’s aesthetic much better than some of the shirts we’ve received. But as I don’t know much about the movie, that’s about all I can say here.


Terminator 2 Metal Print

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At this point you might be wondering what exactly a “metal print” is. Well, I’m not entirely sure either. The item is a smallish metal cutout of the Terminator endoskeleton and the movie’s logo. It’s properly embossed and does look pretty cool, but I’m left at a loss about what to do with it. Right now it’s leaning against the wall in my bathroom. It’s better than the jigsaw puzzle, but it’s not easy to display, and I’m not sure it would look great on a wall anyway.

Fallout Pin & Digital Items


It’s worth noting that there is now a direct connection between the pins and the digital content; they started pairing them up when they first changed the style of the pins, but for the first few the connection didn’t make much sense. This month’s pin is second only to the shield one: it’s a mini nuke from the Fallout series. The digital content is just wallpapers based on the splash screen for Fallout Shelter and ring tones based on its sound effects.


I had high hopes for the June crate, but it only half delivered. I like the Fallout items and the key blank, but not even they are as good as they could be. The rest of the items deal with movies I’ve never seen and/or aren’t really all that interesting kinds of items. It’s not a total waste, but it could have been a lot better. We move on now to July’s crate, with the theme of “Futuristic.” It sort of blends in with the previous theme, doesn’t it? In any case, let’s look through the items.


Kid Robot Mega Man Figure


Kid Robot, the vinyl toy company responsible for the golden Homer Simpson Buddha figure last year, returns to Loot Crate with an exclusive figure from a line of theirs I’ve wanted to check out for a while. The figures are based on the first Mega Man game, though exaggerated in certain ways. I can’t say I love the designs, but I won’t say no to a Mega Man figure. This exclusive one has Mega Man in red armor, looking similar to his Gravity Hold power from Mega Man 5. Whether it’s better to get a specific exclusive over a normal random figure is up for debate, but I’m happy with it anyway. It also makes me wonder if its inclusion was meant to capitalize on the perceived hype of Mighty No. 9.


Futurama Ship Model


Made by Quantum Mechanix, the company between Loot Crate’s Q Figures and prop replicas, this is a model about as long as a typical smartphone, connected magnetically to a very well made base. All of the details are in place, and the plastic feels very solid. This is pretty much the best Futurama item they could have included, and it looks very nice on display. Granted, it won’t do much for you if you aren’t a fan of the show, but even then you have to appreciate the crafting of the model. And rest assured, while they call it a model, you don’t have to put it together.


Star Trek Decal


Again, I have to guess that this one is meant to capitalize on what was at the time an upcoming release, Star Trek Beyond. It’s a decal that replicates the dedication plaque of the Enterprise from Star Trek: The Next Generation. But when I say it’s a decal, I don’t mean that it’s a flimsy little sticker; it’s actually three dimensional. It seems to stick pretty well on my window, but I have no idea how it would work on a car. It’s an item that won’t do much for non-Star Trek fans, but again, you have to appreciate the craft of it anyway.


Rick & Morty T-shirt


Given that Loot Crate’s previous item from this show was a jigsaw puzzle (see above for my thoughts on that), I imagine fans of Rick & Morty will appreciate this shirt, based on the portal gun from the show. It’s a pretty cool design, but unlike May’s shirt, I can’t imagine someone who doesn’t watch the show would want to wear it. Fortunately I have a friend who shares my shirt size and who would get more out of the shirt. It’s hard for me to judge, because I’ve never seen the show, but I imagine it’s one of their better shirts for fans.

4001 AD Comic


What we have here is the first issue of 4001 AD, a comic put out by Valiant. This is actually a recent comic, having come out originally in May, as a crossover between Valiant’s characters. It seems like it would be an interesting read if you’re a fan of Valiant, but since I’m not, it didn’t do much for me. As such, I don’t have a lot to say about this item. It does seem like an odd choice; Valiant’s characters aren’t as universally well known as characters owned by Marvel or DC, so a crossover seems like a bad promotion for the brand.


Star Trek Pin & Digital Items


Continuing the Star Trek theme, our pin this month is a hand giving the Vulcan salute, and the related digital items are for Star Trek Online. I don’t play that game, nor am I much of a Star Trek fan (as stated above), but I do like the pin. I think they would have been better off going with the Starfleet symbol, but what can you do? I’m still impressed overall with the quality of the Loot Crate pins, though I do question if basing each one on a specific property is a good idea. Hopefully we’ll get a few more general ones in the future.

Like the June crate, July’s box is filled with a couple of items I really like, and a couple that don’t interest me at all. But the Mega Man figure is very cool, and something I’ve actually been wanting to pick up for a while anyway. The Futurama ship is an excellent model, and something I didn’t know how much I wanted. The Star Trek items are also quite good, if that franchise is your thing.

So basically, what we have here are two mixed crates. Each one is around half things that I like, and half things I don’t care for. But even if you enjoy the franchises included, they’re still not the best boxes. Jigsaw puzzles, crossover comics, and metal prints are not the kinds of things it makes sense to include in Loot Crate. On the other hand, though, both crates did include some of my favorite items from recent boxes: the Fallout, Mega Man,and Futurama items. Still, compared to the 100% awesome May crate, these are somewhat lacking. Still, each one did include one or two items that I really love, so I guess I have to rate them as slightly above average.


The future is looking brightish


These two crates had a few really good items in them, and a few really questionable ones. Ultimately though, even if the good didn’t quite make up for the bad, it was at least enough to keep me excited for the crate. They’re definitely on the right track.