Team Fortress 2 free this weekend, comes with jar of urine

The Spy, in his usually swarthy and commanding presence, has slinked in from the shadows to essentially commandeer the Sniper’s Update. His repertoire has been bolstered with 34 new achievements, and two new items, The Dead Ringer and The Cloak and Dagger. The Dead Ringer turns you momentarily invisible and makes a ragdoll replacement, just enough time for any Spy worth his salt to get the drop on the would-be opportunistic assailant. The Cloak and Dagger lets you stay invisible forever. Forever.

The two guys left over at Valve, if their blog is to be believed, found it in their infinite wisdom to give yet another new item to the Spy, an item able to fire bullets with the accuracy of a sniper riffle. This hand cannon is called The Ambassador and it comes complete with a risque image of your mother on the side. But what of the Sniper? Surely after two days he must have respawned by now.

And that’s when the jar of piss smashes into the side of the Spy’s face. Jarate, the jar that the Sniper uses when confined to a single position for a long period of time, was released on the first as an April Fools joke. But no longer. Enemies take 35 percent more damage, mainly due to their lack of a will to live. Jarate can put out fires and even short out Spy cloaking devices. This story connects to the headline after the jump, I swear.

So there you have it, two new watches each more complex then the last, a gun bigger than most novelty-sized combs, and now a jar of man-water that makes your enemies suicidal. What more could you want (I ask facitiously to move the one-sided conversation along to my next point)? Would it be better if the game was free? Well now it is! This weekend only, get on Steam and grab yourself a copy of Team Fortress 2 at the low, low price of nothing. Just don’t be surprised when you’re buying it on Monday, it happens to the best of us.