REVIEW / Loot Crate (March 2016)


February’s Loot Crate was 1/2 awesome, 1/4 decent, and 1/4 pointless. But despite those lackluster percentages, overall I’d say it was one of the better ones we’ve seen in the past few months. As such, I suppose I should have expected some disappointment with March’s box. The timing isn’t great for Loot Crate, as this month I’m putting both of my subscription boxes at risk of being replaced.

So, with my subscription  on the line, how did Loot Crate do with the theme of Versus? Obviously we knew there would be something related to Batman v. Superman, and we were also promised items connected with Alien vs. Predator, Daredevil vs. The Punisher, and Star Trek. Not exactly a list of franchises that I love, so already they were off to a bad start for me. Let’s see what happened when I actually opened the box.

Batman v. Superman Mighty Wallet


Full disclosure: Despite my hopes and my best attempts, I did not like this movie. But even if I did, I wouldn’t be interested in this Mighty Wallet. What is a Mighty Wallet, you ask? We’ve actually gotten one from Loot Crate before, based on The Simpsons. It’s a wallet made of some sort of super strong, paper-like material and printed with various designs. This one uses the imagery from Batman v. Superman’s posters, and design-wise it’s actually not bad. But like last time, while it’s not necessarily a bad wallet if you aren’t planning to keep too much in it, I have to wonder who doesn’t already have a better wallet. Granted, it is useful if you need a second wallet for situations where you want to limit what you’re carrying, so it isn’t totally useless. However, mine at least had a very big problem: it smelled absolutely terrible. I’m not even sure what the smell is, but it was bad enough that I doubt anyone is going to use that wallet. Hopefully it was just mine that was like that.


Daredevil/Punisher Reversible Beanie


Cashing in on the Daredevil show put out by Netflix, we have here a pretty high quality beanie. On one side it’s red and features the Daredevil symbol. But if you turn it inside out, it’s black and features The Punisher’s symbol. A bit basic perhaps, but it does the job and it will keep your head warm. I was planning to talk about how ridiculous it is for Loot Crate to give us this kind of hat in April, but since it’s currently snowing as I write this, I suppose I now know the answer. Even so, they gave us a much better winter hat based on Pikachu in the Summon crate. That’s actually been my primary hat all winter, and because of the ear flaps I think it works better than this one. But if Pikachu isn’t your style, and it’s still freezing where you live, this is a very good hat.


Alien vs. Predator Titans Figure


Generally I don’t like the Titans figures. They feature characters with big heads and exaggerated but still realistic faces. Everything is extremely stylized except the faces, and that just looks creepy to me. But as it turns out, that style works a lot better when the character isn’t human. Each Loot Crate contains one of two exclusive figures, either a Xenomorph or a Predator. I got the Predator and I must say, it’s actually a really nice figure. Though I’ve never seen the movie, I like the character design, and it’s rendered here with a lot more detail than one might expect. This is the one item from this month’s crate that I’m actually planning to keep; I’m always a sucker for cool vinyl figures.


Star Trek “Mirror Mirror” T-shirt


I’m actually happy that I don’t like this item; as I said back in January, I already have too many t-shirts, and the one they gave us last month was excellent. From my perspective there’s absolutely nothing to like about this one, and even for a Star Trek fan I can’t imagine it would be a hit. It features a stylized “poster” for the classic Star Trek episode “Mirror Mirror,” depicting Spock facing his doppelganger. The colors are bad, the design is boring, and it’s not exactly the best Star Trek imagery available. Yes, it’s a classic episode and it fits the theme, but I just can’t imagine anyone wearing it.  Even the color of the shirt itself is pretty ugly.


Harley Quinn comic


The first thing to note about this comic is that like the Street Fighter one we got not too long ago, it’s not just an exclusive cover; it’s actually an exclusive comic. This one-shot features the fan favorite character finding a genie in a bottle, and it goes about as well as you’d expect. I haven’t been reading comics regularly for a while, so I have no idea if this fits with how the character is portrayed these days, but it was a fun read. For fans of the character it’s a no-brainer. But I have to ask, what does this have to do with the theme? I know it’s a Batman character, but it isn’t really about her fighting against anyone.

Plain and simple, this is a lackluster crate. The Predator figure is cool, and the comic is fun to read for the five minutes it takes to finish it, but that’s about it. The shirt is ugly, the wallet smells gross and has limited usability, and the beanie is redundant and not all that well timed. My feelings are mixed about next month’s crate too. With theme of Quest, it will feature an item from a franchise I love (Harry Potter), two towards which I’m largely ambivalent (Uncharted and Labyrinth), and one I know nothing about (Vikings).

But there is an alternative available: Loot Crate’s new video game-focused subscription box has the theme of Metro this month, and they don’t mean the horror shooter series. Featured here are two games I love (Fallout 4 and Bioshock 2), two towards which I’m ambivalent (Mirror’s Edge and Resident Evil), and one I know nothing about (The Division). It also costs $10 more. It’s not an easy choice, so tell me in the comments which one you want to see. And if you want to get your own Loot Crate, you can subscribe by clicking here. It’s $19.95 per month with shipping, and multiple month bundles are available as well. Stay tuned, because this month I’m putting Smuggler’s Bounty on notice too.


Losing the fight


While March’s crate wasn’t a total loss, it wasn’t very successful either. The wallet isn’t particularly useful, and the shirt design is not at all appealing. The comic is fun to read once, but that’s about all you’ll get out of it. The hat is a decent item, but its inclusion seems pointless. The saving grace for this crate is the Alien vs. Predator figure, which is a high quality collectible with a nice design.