There’s an old saying. I believe it goes somewhere along the lines that it’s important to make friends and eat people. No? Well, I’m pretty sure I’m close, but in the case of the game that we’ll be looking at today, I’m absolutely 100% correct. In Godlike Burger, you get to run your own diner. What’s on the menu? Well, burgers, actually, oh, and your customers. This particular time management game isn’t the fuzzy cuteness you’ve all come to expect from the genre, this one is all psycho and it’s got teeth!
In Godlike Burger, you take over the family business from your mother. Her diner was a hit at the time of her death and you vow that it will continue to be the talk of the galaxy. The major difference between you and the former owner, though, is that she could cook and you can’t and that her burgers were delicious and your recipe sucks. Something you realize pretty early on though is that nobody questions the food if it tastes good. If improving your recipe involves your customers eating each other, well that’s just par for the course. The more, “exotic,” the burger the better your reputation right? Right! Just don’t get caught.
Wow, this title is a breath of fresh air. I’ve played a lot of time management sims in my time and the cooking ones all start to feel a bit samey pretty quickly. These games tend to boil down to serving customers so you can buy upgrades, so you can serve more customers. I’m not saying that this isn’t fun the first five or ten times you see it but these things have been banished down the mobile black hole for a reason.
Godlike Burger is what I’ve just described and a whole lot more. You have to cook for and serve your customers just as with many of those other titles. Added to the plate spinning, though, is the fact that you’ll need to murder some of your patrons without getting caught if you’re going to keep your inventory of burger patties well supplied. Also, just as with any other game like this you’ll need those upgrades, the difference here is that in this case, those upgrades are hilarious.
The thing about hacking a customer to bits with a meat cleaver when you have a diner full of eaters is that it’s fairly difficult to do inconspicuously. It makes far more sense to create a few “accidents.” How do you do this? Traps! There are a bunch of different ways to build your meat supply without getting your hands dirty and your apron all covered in gack. If someone is leaving and the sign just happens to fall and flatten them, that’s not your fault, right? The odd electrocution can’t hurt, (you,) and as long as there aren’t any questions as to what that burger sauce is made from we’re all good.
So the plan is relatively simple. What also helps is that your diner is also a spaceship. The best way to not get caught by the police is to not spend too much time on one planet in any one sitting. The bodies won’t pile up too high if you aren’t there. It also means that you can chase rarer, more unusual ingredients and help your ratings soar with your exquisite food. To unlock the paths to those new worlds you just need to complete a series of prerequisites and you’re away. You start out on a planet that’s literally a gigantic landfill and populated by rat people. These will be your starting clientele. The fact that you’re human garbage also makes it a pretty fitting place to begin. After this, you have an entire galaxy of aliens to eat and greet all with their own favorite foods and immunities to some of your well-laid kill zones.
As I’ve mentioned there are lots of aspects that we’ll all know from this genre. You’ll need to grab various ingredients, then cook them, plate them and serve up a finished article. This is obviously all timed and you need to make sure you give the right orders to the correct customers while not burning anything. Godlike Burger takes this and puts it on steroids. This game is punishing! It’s really easy to end up with your hands full and if a station you need to drop something on is broken, (this happens a lot,) you won’t be able to empty them. If a burger burns while you’re juggling it goes in the bin and you start over losing ingredients and damaging the customer’s already fraying patience. Another fairly obvious point to make is that you can only serve a burger if it’s hot. They cool down really quickly so you need to utilize warming plates to make sure everything is toasty when it goes out. These are just the basics.
While you’re keeping an eye on the kitchen you’ll also want to keep an eye on your stock of burger patties. If it starts running low you’ll need to hop into the diner, murder someone without being caught and make it back to finish off the rest of the orders. If the customers see you attacking one of their own they’ll gang up and beat the snot out of you. This obviously isn’t the correct way to end your day. If they happen to find a body they’ll either attack you or depending on the customer, runoff and call the police. You definitely don’t want them snooping around so it pays to clean up after yourself and not leave any stray corpses dotted about the place. This should all be fairly self-explanatory but when you have burger patties turning to charcoal in the background it’s easier said than done.
To complicate matters further, (if they aren’t complicated enough already,) each day will present you with various obstacles. You might have protestors in your diner that want booting out, critics to keep happy, or blocked toilets. These are all extra headaches that need to be remedied if you’re going to keep your customers happy. Believe me, it’s really hard to plate food when there’s literally a geyser erupting from the loo in the gents. You also have freeloaders that aren’t buying anything and thieves looking to rob your patrons. This I might add is all in the first few days of your journey. Very long story short, this is not a game for the faint of heart or those of you with no multi-tasking skills.
Aside from everything I’ve just mentioned above you have the money management side of the game to contend with. In between days, you’ll find yourself buying ingredients, paying bills, and deciding what upgrades your going to opt for next. The upgrades are broken into roughly two main chunks, firstly you have your diner upgrades. These are the ones that make your kitchen less of a deathtrap for you and help the cooking process. Ingredients and sauce recipes can probably be thrown in here too. The other upgrades take the form of the death traps you want so you can off your customers in a more timely and believable fashion. Aside from all this spending, you’ll also want to plot your journey to other planets and see what missions you’ll need to complete to further the game. Lastly, you might want to do a bit of client research. You’ll learn what your customers like to eat as you go and a little bit about their general behaviors. This is really useful when you’re plotting to murder them.
So I love the premise and I love the gameplay. Godlike Burger doesn’t mess about, it’s bloody hard but in this particular case it just makes itself more addictive. I went back and replayed a bunch of rounds to just get better at the game. At no point did I feel frustrated and want to step away and for any title in this genre that’s absolutely crucial. All-time management games are tough, but they should never feel impossible and this gets the balance just right. I like the fact that you can set your diner up in pretty much whatever way suits you too. This gives your something of a breather from the manic nature of the game and grants you something else to think about, which is a pleasant break from the mayhem.
What I don’t like in Godlike Burger is the controls. I was playing with a keyboard and mouse, and to be honest a gamepad shouldn’t be a must for a game of this type. The actual controls were mapped out fine so this isn’t my issue. My problem is that they’re massively sensitive. It’s far too easy to double click something or tap and button twice and accidentally end up with an item you don’t want. This is a killer when you’re playing a game where you have to be fluid and everything needs to be in order, at speed. It only takes one small hiccup and it can throw everything off.
Other than a control setup that isn’t my favorite and way, way, too many things going on a once. I don’t have a lot of complaints. I’ve repeated levels over and over trying to find different ways to conserve ingredients and get more kills. This isn’t a gripe by the way. There is a roguelike component to Godlike Burger, so no two days will play out exactly the same. This means that you aren’t going to get bored replaying stuff. This also adds a bit of longevity so no complaints there.
All in all Godlike Burger is a lot of fun. So which of you probably won’t be getting your kicks here. Firstly, as I mentioned earlier this is a game that’s all about multi-tasking. If you can’t or your slow you’ll just have a massive amount of frustration coming your way. There is also a certain amount of backtracking needed if you’re going to do really well here so this isn’t a game for the impatient. You might buy the wrong upgrade, not get enough of a certain ingredient or just fluff up and lose more than you’ve gained on a run. All of these reasons will make you want to replay your current day and if you don’t mind repeating yourself you’ll be fine with this. If you do, there won’t be a lot of fun here for you. This is a brilliant addition for time-management fans, those of you with a sick sense of humor, and anyone that likes a lot of pressure in their game. Personally, I’m really enjoying myself. Very good stuff!
A tasty offering
Deliciously evil fun
Godlike Burger is a brilliant, if at times excruciatingly difficult, time-management sim. This game is fast, furious, and chock full of utterly black humor. This is not a game for those of you that can’t multitask, and if I’m being honest, the controls don’t help matters. If you’re easily frustrated I think you’ll find more annoyance than enjoyment here. If you don’t mind going hell for leather and you have a twisted sense of humor I think you’ll love this one. One final note. You might want to consider the age of any younglings wanting to play this title, it’s full of murder and cannibalism, after all.